"The strong man is not the one who can wrestle (fight); the strong man is the one who controls himself in the time of anger."
[Sahih al-Bukhari]
When Rasulullah (Sallallahu alaihi wasallam) became angry at someone else's wrong actions or disbelief, he never expressed it with his hand or tongue. His companions knew that he was angry by looking at his face, which would be red and with some sweat on his forehead, and he would keep quiet for a moment, trying to control himself.
Once a couple went to Rasulullah (Sallallahu alaihi wasallam) and said, We have been fighting each other for many years. Each time she says something to hurt my feelings, I become angry, and then I fight back and this fight comes to such a degree that I am afraid that this verbal fight may, become physical, or we may end up divorced. So please advise how we can control our anger.
He told the husband that when his wife provokes him and makes him angry, he takes a sip of his water in his mouth and does not swallow it or spit it out, but keeps it there until she has calmed down.
Well, he practiced that and a few months later, he reported back that it did work.
Since we believe that anger is an expression of satanic control, we must not let this control take over. Rasulullah (Sallallahu alaihi wasallam) has advised us to say, "During anger, I seek refuge from Satan in the protection of Allah."
He also advised us that when angry, one should sit down or lie down as it is not easy to hit someone else in those positions. Obviously, the best remedy is to think about Allah and ask yourself a question, "are you in control of yourself, or would you allow Allah to take control of you?" Think of Allah's anger and punishment. Is Allah Ta'ala's wrath less than your wrath? And what happens when He expresses His wrath? We humans who seek forgiveness from Allah must forgive others first.
When one forgives someone else, it establishes peace and tranquility in one's heart, but at the same time, the matter of injustice or wrong actions which made one angry, becomes a dispute between him and God. If one does not take revenge and forgive, God might act on one's behalf.
The first attribute of Allah that Muslims are reminded (of) is Ar Rahman-Ar Rahim that is, The Most Kind and Most Merciful. Allah Ta'ala has said, "My mercy overtakes my wrath", and in one of the hadith Qudsi, 'O son of Adam, when you get angry, remember Me."
One can also turn and pray to Allah to take control of the situation and the person or the people who have caused His anger. We must also think that tone life so dear to us, is a temporary life, and we must not forget our death and destroy the life of eternity at the cost of this life. Washing one's face with cold water or taking a cold shower is also helpful.
